Hey! Thanks for reaching out. I am sure this must really difficult and traumatic to deal with. You being angry in such a situation is a very natural and expected behaviour. You’re old enough to take your own decisions. Have you tried talking to him about this? That you don’t want to be treated like this and you also wants to be respected. You are a different individual and you have your own perspective, you should both respect each other and not try to mould you according to him. Be polite and assertive while explaining this. Tell him that you’re leading your own life, hence you both shouldn’t expect a behaviour which is exactly according to him or you.

i tried. i dont know if my mental health is declining because i am angry all the time and i am not interested in doing anything. but are those signs of depression because some days i do feel good and happy

Even I have a cousin who is always angry because His father is always scolding him for the smallest things. Even I would like a solution for this.

Yes, you mental health gets affected by such incidents. I think you should first try to talk to your father about this situation. Then we can work on anger management.

i have tried to but it is of no use. could you tell me how to just block those emotions because it affects me a lot

You can try to change the perception of taking it. Try to rationalise the thought.

i have tried. The mental harressment its just too much. when i tell people i need some help they dismiss me.

You definitely need help. Can you please try journalling you thought and list them here? That will help me in identifying the thought pattern and what we can do about it.

ok. journelling is making points of how im feeling throughout the day right?

Yes

Ok i did journelling and mostly i was irritated the whole day. i was talking to a friend but i wasnt interested to have a conversation. i was getting angry so to escape i slept for over 3 hours in the afternoon. but evening i was feeling a bit good in the evening.

You’ll have replace you this escaping activity by purposely engaging in conversations. Are you sure that this behaviour is only because of your father?

i guess he is one of the main factors. i've also faced loss of a sibling few years. i am angry about that too. but i think my father is like the main reason because when hes not around my mood is kinda better. he did not let me go to work when i got a job but now it angers me so much cause he supports others to go work and i kinda feel bad when everyone around me is foing better than me. i know i should not compare but being at home alone thats hard to not do

Definitely it’s hard. Why don’t you talk to your father that you’re old enough to take your own decisions, working is one basic necessity and independence that you want. Why is his behaviour towards you like this?

Its all tried. hes nice to everyone except for my mom and me. If i go out with my friends he continously calls me to come back home. we have had a lot of clashes so once to told me i cant wait for you to get out of the house . he roams with his friends but i am just supposed to sit at home. He doubts me with like any friend I have. I am engaged as of now but still he does not let me go out. My wedding was supposed to happen last year but it got postponed to this year and me or my mother are not told of any decisions that are taken. But outside he acts all nice and stuff when people are around.

hii i know its very difficult am not any specialist but i can advise u that be with yourself just forget your mental health is imporatnt than your situation just believe yourself and to meditate keep hearing whenever your father scold just hear dont listen

I am sure it must be difficult. So it’s not possible for you to take a stand for yourself. Can you still manage how you perceive things and then change scenarios according to you, without letting him know?

Its not easy because he is very controlling and i get scared to do anything because the moment he raises his voice i feel very panicky and stressed out. I cant seem to have proper concentration too. i also keep forgetting things even if it jas happened the previous day.

I can see that it’s not easy. You have been bearing with it from a long time. This panic situation is happening because you are low on self esteem. You should try to be assertive. Let’s talk over a call to have detailed discussion on how we can help you come out of it?

Talking on the phone makes me very anxious for some reason

Okay let’s discuss here more.

I have thing that happens to me. sometimes i feel like chest is tight and im unable to breathe. it just happens randomly. is this anxiety by any chance?

This happens because of anxiety. In such situation you can try to practice deep breathing.

And also i have this thing that happens that is i just randomly remember stuff my father did be it so many years. its just pops up. how can i stop that. for example there was a time he told me to get down the vehicle in the middle of the road on the way to the library and i started crying and yet he pulled me to the library when i was still crying and lied to the librarian there saying i did something wrong. Even though these things happened a few years ago these thoughts still pop up and makes me very angry. How do i block such thoughts?

You have never expressed your anger or negative emotions that’s why it has all bottled up. That’s the reason these memories keeps flashing. Unless you don’t express it all you won’t be able to make peace with it. Try to write it somewhere and tear it after you’re done. Bring back yourself to present and look forward to ideas that can make further situations bearable for you.

Hi i just experienced something today. It was very stupid but i just could not control it. I got a haircut today and it was a bit shorter than i wanted to. But i stressed out so much i dunno why. even though it was nothing i just could not control stressing upto the point the back of my head started to pain. How do i control this. I mean i stress for completely unnecesary things.

I am glad you’ve acknowledged this about yourself. Practice writing things that stress you everyday and then make your mind understand that you have to let go this feeling, and you’ve expressed it as well. Try to focus on the present more and what effect will it cause in the long run. If it isn’t something that is going to create and damage or harm to anyone then it’s okay even have a little disappointment.

Okay I will try to practice that.

Hi i have another isuue which i have been facing for a very long time. Whenever i try to go to bed at night i am filled with negative thoughts mostly death. For this reason i have been sleeping very late so that i dont get such thoughts. I always feel like next day i wake up someone i know will die. Why does this happen?

Hey! I am sure it must be stressful. Try rationalise your thoughts like - death is an inevitable part of life but why ruin our present because of that. Try to focus on the things around you, and keep yourself busy and convinced that when you’re going on bad you are only counting the good things that happened during the day.

Hello im feeling very low that i cant seem to distract myself with anything around me. I am getting suicidal thoughts and i feel so low but i dunno why this is happening. I feel everything is going against me. What do I do to stop this feeling

Do you have anyone around to whom you can go to? Meet anyone of your friend. Wait and try to convince your mind that it’s momentary and nothing is going against you. You are the controller of your life and it only will move ahead according to you.