I feel lonely from childhood. I don't have any permanent friends. I always I got shattered . Ashamed . So I don't care about anyone . I don't get any feelings for persons . It's so rare for keep affection on any. Because I care too much for them and I will broken. I seek love care affection. I after marriage I think it will change . It's stay same . I husband Don't care about. We are living separately. No intimacy, affection, care just formal life. Just three phone calls had lunch dinner gng to sleep that's all .... Feeling fed up . . .