So here's the deal. I have bulimia. The whole eating disorder thing started when I was very overweight, and I started reducing my portions and counting calories to lose it quickly. Things quickly escalated until I was barely eating, even fasting for many days in a row. Sure, the weight came off. But I started to lose control, and bingeing started, and I started throwing up to make up for it. It's now an addiction that I can't control. I hate feeling full, and purging gives me idk a sense of relief after all the food anxiety. Things have gotten worse and worse especially during lockdown, and I don't know how to stop.