hi. i am 20 years old. i noticed that i fear being left alone and i care too much about others perspective. i had a very good friend who had stopped talking to me for no reason in 2018. since then i never trusted in making friends and saw everyone as below my expectations. i also made very much of efforts to get close to some people so that they never leave me. my life has been all about crying and yelling. i have tried to overcome this situation from a past few months and this is forcing me to somehow stop showing my real emotions. i am afraid if expressing my soft side to anyone and i think it will make me weak. i feel loneliness. although i have 2 very good friends. i find myself searching for people whom i can talk to. but in the end i dont know what i want to say. this is affecting my friendship and relationship and im always told that if i cant say what i feel i cant be helped.