but you know what I don't want to get get better. i am good here in this situation... what if with time I started enjoying life started living life without her...which I don't deserve anything without her. It had been just seven moths to our marriage and feels like complete life . and I believe thats what life was ..now am just breathing and waiting desperately for my last day. you know what again, I can't dare to kill my self..but If I caught with any accident or any mishap I will stop breathing happily happily forever. last year she had fast on this day (haritalika) for my long life .. few months back when I was going through her personal diary, I read her favourite hero was her would be husband. and I am failed as her hero!!!!!! that's the naked truth