my parent have been there for me all through my life, they helped to provide for me while struggling, but barely had time for me, so i find it hard to communicate with them. i remember a time my school results were bad when they saw it they were really upset so they beat me through out the night stating that i played too much, i mean i was between 7-8years old then, i was a kid, i would always want to play. so since then i mostly just lie to them about everything just so they can feel satisfied. i remember when my mom asked what i want to be in future, i told her that i wanted to be a footballer and she was like that is not an occupation but i really love sports, she did not approved so i had to change my mind to a science field. i never really thought i was depressed till i found out that i could not tell my parent almost anything about me. i would lie about my grades especially because i could not tell them i performed badly so as not to hurt them. it has gotten so bad that now i'm in university and i had an extra year, could not still tell them till i had no option. i wrote the exams again and still failed some courses that i obviously know i should pass, on hearing i just felt so lost. around that period my dad lost his job to, i just sunk deep into depression. to cut the long story short, i suspended studies and tried to learning something that could be of income to me and my family (FOREX). Any trader here should how emotions affect the market. it was a really had one to do, till now i still struggle but i never gave up. the problem now is that i'm running out of lies to tell them and they are already suspecting something fishy and as usual they are expressing their grief saying i make the family sad, my mom said i want to embarrass her and some other stuff that really hurt me, anytime i think about it i really feel like committing suicide because it just hurt that much that they think these things about me. i did everything they asked me to and still failed. well im trying to pull my self together hopefully improve in my forex journey and finish this school next year. i will post later, have to go