May I ask what need makes you want to earn?
Regarding your social anxiety, could you elaborate a bit on it?
Practice public speaking in front of mirror, friends or parents. Public speaking skills is VERY important in the job market.
Well, I have been always really quiet as a kid, it was weird, I was extremely loud with my neighbours and when I went to school I don't know why, my mom told me everytime I go anywhere near school or see anybody from school, or Church, my whole reaction just changes, I get extremely silent and can't talk. And I remeber as a kid in school, it was impossible to laugh for me, I always planned in my head to do it, but couldn't even make a sound because I was too scared I don't know why 😭 then obviously there was a bit of bullying later on, since that always happens to kids like us.
Then in Class 6 and 5 or something I failed twice, I literally didn't care and o hate myself for it now
Despite all that, because of all that, I changed schools, it was like a slap to my face cause I realised how my previous school. In this school there was a lot of beating and... The students were....I fully know how to describe it.... But the principal was nice cause he knew my dad, he was really nice....I did well in this school only because the standard was lower... Then I changed schools again to a better school? ... That's what I thought... The headmaster was extremely kind and I ..... Too many details... In the end of my third and last year there I came to know that the borders in the bording are abused... And sexually assaulted
I guess that's besides the point
So yeah all these experiences forced me to grow a bit and evolve. I try my best not to be afraid cause I know I won't survive of I'm always anxious with people... The point is I've grown a lot but people still see me as quiet and I see things clearer than before but everytime I go out, or am with friends, people I don't trust, I get extremely quiet and anxious and I hate that, they'll see me as weak again and take advantage of me 😓
I want to earn because I want to help my parents, my mom works but my dad is trying, he always starts something then ends it....I know he's stressed too idk what to do 😭😭
dopeyBass3 I will try that, I will practice that thank you
I used to cut myself too because of this... But I've stopped.. I hope
I've tried different ways to cut myself but it was never enough, but yeah....I realised it's bad... And it's no use...I even tried pills, I didn't even know which would work, I was an idiot😂.. None worked and none made me feel sick, I tried going once to a psychologist but I didn't want to go anymore cause I felt ...I guess I knew... My case is nothing compared to all the others who suffer from worse mental illnesses. The last school I was in believed in me though, they saw my writing was good and gave me many opportunities to write poems for school pragrammes... So that actually.made me feel quite good, since I felt useful and like I belonged
It seems like you have gone through a lot.
It's understandable that after all this you feel this anxious with people.
You mentioned that you stopped going to a psychologist. Could you share your experiences of it?
Yeah... It's just that I know everybody is capable of something, bit eventhough I know that my self confidence stops me from doing things I want to.
In the mental institution? Mental hospital? I went to .... The owner is friend of my dad's, so my dad told him about me and so he chose a psychologist for me... he and my got to talking, he said that this, what I'm going through can be solved easily, and that is nothing, and........ When me and my dad went out...I looked back..I kind of saw him rubbing his eyelids in a frustrated sort of way... While we were walking out.....I guess it was stupid..I just felt like they had bigger matters to deal with....I got anxious and didn't want to go there anymore.
There was one time when a teacher talked to me, annoyed about something.. Which scared me so much, in Class 12 that I was overcome with so much fear and emotion and cried and begged my dad and mom saying I don't wanna go to school anymore...... Cause it was too hard...I was so scared eventhough the teacher did nothing much... I wanted to change schools and was dead sure of itThe principal was kind though... She gave me a one week leave... And I later had to go back.... When my mind became clearer.... Still embarrassed of that