stressed about not being understood by family
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Hello everyone. I hope everybody is fine. Everybody have their own stories which they can't tell anybody. I'm glad I can tell here. I'm 19 but I don't how to cook. My family never gives me work but they expect that whenever they are in need I'll do those work. Whenever I told them that I'll do this, they told me to leave and study. That's why I never get a chance to practice for cooking or anything else. Today, my grandma and my father are sick. But I didn't know about it. As soons as I woke up, my grandma started scolding me, "you only think about yourself, you don't care if somebody is dying. You can't even help your family members. How you'll survive in other family(after marriage)? Whenever I do something wrong they always say these lines. This makes me feel like I am burden on my family. They don't even teach me then scold me. They make me feel like I'm burden on them. I always think "Will my death make them happy?" "Will they live in ease if I leave this world? " I always thought these things but I'm unable to kill myself. I get scared. I'm afraid if I'll survive after killing me and they will beat me to death. what should I do?

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