Unable to handle things
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I've always thought if this is normal or am I turning reaaaaally nuts. Help me plis cool ganers #amongues #haha This year, I've been losing motivation, started to procrastinate more than I would, forgetting about my hygiene(i used to be very clean before, I still am but I only cleaned myself when I'm outside bc of covid, ykwim?) extremely (?) Low self-esteem (it is extreme right? since I can't see what I'm even good at anymore and my looks. I can't even name one thing I like about me)forgetting memories easily, having constant suicidal thoughts at least a few times a day(it's ok I only scratched myself), anxiety getting everywhere, trouble sleeping sometimes.., started acting delusional just to hide my low mood and not worry anyone, and one big change is that I'm starting to have anger issues and I don't like it. (i used to be able to control my emotions before and now I'm just out here bursting it out)and yet while those were happening to me I have a.. lovely family, lovely people around and I was also able to be happy for a few moments..hanging out with my family, friends, playing games, doing stuff I love which made me forget all the stuff I'm dealing with for a while<33 but then after that, that moment when I'm alone again, it's like as if I don't even know who that side of me was anymore.

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